So Many Things.

i'm thankful for all of this and more:

clarification.
kmht96 hang outs.
taboo.
hawaii.
cough drops.
the closeness that i have with my family.
running errands with my cousins.
singing in the car with my cousins.
and the fact that i can talk with them about my
questions
doubts
problems
epiphanies
blessings.
narwhal hair pin.
high school musical.
long beach aquarium.
laughing so hard while you're sick to the point where you cough up so much flem right after.
random outbursts of dance.
pizza.
christmas music.
the blankets all laid out in the family room.
family movie nights.
photobooth with kyohei.



i really don't even know what to say.
i can go on and on.
life is so great right now.
but i don't know, it's just this gut feeling that i have.
i feel sick to my stomach.
something's missing and i think i know what it is but i'm afraid to admit it.

thing is, i've been pushing these things aside for so long.
i don't like to talk about it because i know people are expecting me to get over it.
even i'm expecting MYSELF to be over it by now.
but i can't JUST. FORGET.
i feel like i'm limiting myself.
i don't know what to do.
i feel stuck.