Love sick

Last night I had the most unrealistic dream ever. Somehow he came back. It didn't make sense but I liked it. I woke up thinking it was true then to log onto Facebook realizing it was "just a dream." I still care. Which is odd. I just feel so completely and utterly and ridiculously regretful? Lonely? It just kind of hit me real hard this week. And, no lie, it makes me feel down in the gutter. This isn't really my ideal morning I'd like to have during my Spring Break.

The question is.. (still)
Do I ever miss him?
Definitely.
I try to make my answer com as close as possible to "No."
But then I'd just be running away from the truth.
Which will make the process even slower of me coming to that point in my life where I'm almost, truly, and utterly...
Happy.
In this aspect, at least.

The idea of him is just so fabulous I can’t get my mind off of it.
The idea of a guy to hold onto...to talk to...to cherish.....it's a splendid idea.
But the actual him is so…far from reach.