The question is..

Do I still miss him that much?
On occasion.

The idea of him is just so fabulous I can’t get my mind off of it.
The idea of a guy to hold onto...to talk to...to cherish.....it's a splendid idea.
But the actual him is so….far from that.

I’m beginning move on, or at least I'm letting myself now.
I’m almost embarrassed of the fact that I liked him so much at one point.
I’m so relieved I didn't get sucked any deeper into...that.
I’m thankful for the person I am today because of the mistakes I made with him.
And although I thought attention from him was happiness, I now see that that form of happiness is only temporary.
True happiness is...is knowing who you are and loving it.
True happiness is...is knowing what you want and going for it.

I think I’m almost there.
I feel myself slowly coming to that point in my life.
That point in my life where I’m almost, truly, and utterly...
Happy.

I’m focusing on myself these days.
I’m focusing on building myself back up to who I want to be; to who I’m made to be.

I am special.
By recognizing that, I've come to truly appreciate everyone around me.
Even the weirdo in the back of the class who vandalizes his desk by drawing army tanks and machine guns.
Because we're all that weirdo in the back of the class who vandalizes his desk by drawing army tanks and machine guns.
We're all Just. That. Weird.
But that's what makes us special.

Okay.
I’m not one to give advice, but seriously guys, never give up, okay?
Never give up.
Because quitting now only makes it ten times harder to get back on track later.

Trust me.
I’m usually not much of an optimist either, but..
Life is good.
Life is worth living.
And I mean that.